Friday, July 3, 2009

Goopy Is As Goopy Does

Gwyneth Paltrow is a cultured intellectual which is why she loves living in Europe so much more than the United States. The mistress of recently explained while talking about Spain:

"It is so different from the United States. It seemed to have a history, and the buildings are years and years and years old. Here in the United States an old building is about 17 (years old), and over there it's from 500 B.C., it's incredible," she said.

I wondered if that were so. Finally I decided to have a look around and see if I could find some buildings here in the U.S. that were more than 17-years-old. First I looked in my backyard…

Nope, no old buildings around here, certainly none with any significant history attached to them. I'd better keep looking. Maybe over here…

Darn, still nothing. Hey, there are some people. Maybe they can help me! "Hey, you guys! Anyone seen any buildings that are 'years and years and years old?'"

Nope, no one has seen anything… Oops, I must have taken a wrong turn and wound up in this cave somehow. Certainly nothing to see here…

Hey, look down there! That looks like a nice tree. I'm surprised no one has ever built a house beside it.

I'm getting kind of hungry and I was hoping this new shopping mall would have a decent food court but it's empty.

Darn it, I bet there'd be a nice view here if people didn't leave their trash lying around to clutter up the landscape.

Well, I'm stumped. I just can't find any old buildings…

I guess I'd better give up. Clearly I'm not as smart as old Goopy. She certainly is more knowledgeable about history than I am. I mean, I was under the misconception that we had archeological finds here in the U.S. of people such as the Anasazi that go back to 1200 B.C. and earlier. Of course I was also under the impression that the best way to appear cultured and intellectual was to actually be cultured and intellectual. Thanks for setting me straight, Goopy.

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